Natasha’s Microwave Meals – Vol.8, DATE NIGHT EDITION

Every week I am going to have AT LEAST 2 meals that are microwavable that I have purchased from the supermarket. Then I am going to tell you all about it. Want to know why? Click here.

Last night I had a romantic* microwave dinner with Zach, a combination of two things that never should’ve been put together: Bacon flavoured potato bake and chicken fried noodles.

I was originally going to have just the potato bake on it’s own, but then Zach in the saddest voice I’ve ever heard asked me to “surprise” him with a microwave meal. So I put on my domestic goddess gloves and I made a whole dinner. Kind of.

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WHAT IS THIS!?

I made the fried noodles first. They’re by a brand called Magic Pandas, and they seem to have a whole range of horrific looking morsels. The supermarket I went to had these fried noodles, dim sums, and wonton noodle soup (how does this work? I don’t think I want to know).

I’m annoyed because this took longer to cook than it said it would. On the (very horrific looking) box it said to heat it for about 5 minutes with the lid partially removed. I did just that, but it was still a frozen block of jelly-ice when I took it out of the microwave. I put it back in the microwave for periods of 2 minutes for what felt like 1000 times until it was hot enough to be edible.

The smell was strange. At one point* the whole kitchen smelt like cabbage.

*”At one point” who am I, a fucking spirit medium?

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This was $5.95 at New World and honestly it was not in the least worth it. I’m just sad and feel a bit sick.

The chicken had a weird texture and I can’t even describe what the noodles tasted like. They kind of just tasted like cauliflower liquid, if that makes sense? The liquid from the icicles that were on the cauliflower that then melted in the microwave? What!?????? AM??? I SAYING????

Zach gave it an overall rating of 3/10, but then changed his rating to 5/10 when he drenched the noodles in Sriracha sauce. So there’s a pro tip for you.

Would I recommend this? Absolutely not. If this ever comes into your possession, burn it at the stake.

Overall rating: 3/10

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Firstly, the box says ‘serves 1’. I made it serve 2, suckas.

I was hoping that this would be better than it was. One reason is because it’s by Tomorrow’s Meals who are usually pretty good. Second reason is because someone online recommended it to me (sorry, I can’t remember who it was but it was someone on Twitter or Facebook!)

There’s a serving suggestion that says “serve with grilled steak or chicken” but that involves ACTUAL cooking which I say NO to.

You may be wondering why I paired this with fried noodles. Trust me, I didn’t WANT to, but they were the only 2 frozen meals I had in the freezer for this week. I wanted to kill two birds with one stone. Pro tip: potato bake and fried noodles is not a good combo.

To make this you have to heat it for 2 minutes, then you have to cut it in half and heat it for another 2 minutes. The audacity to make me do MANUAL LABOUR before I’ve eaten. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I found this real average. It was $4.29, so for the price, I guess it was worth it? I think it would definitely be nice when paired with meat of some kind, but in my case it was noodles so it was a bad experience.

Zach rated it 7.8/10, our first decimal ranking.

However, he’s wrong and I’m breaking up with him.

Overall rating: 5/10. HAVE IT WITH MEAT.

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*Barbra Streisand screams* ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, IS ENOUGH, I CAN’T GO ON, I CAN’T GO ON, NO MORE, NO

 

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